The hardest post...

So I guess some of you are nosy curious (like me) and are wondering why I can't just get pregnant like a normal person. And since this week is the 4 year anniversary of when that curse was placed on me, what better time to give you the scoop? Am I right? I'll try to spare you the gory details.

Basically, when the little prince was just over 8 weeks old, the incision in my uterus from my c-section ruptured. Let me insert a few (scary) statistics about uterine rupture (taken from this website):

• In women who have had a previous c-section, 1 in 129 will rupture if the next labor is induced (scary since so many women have c-sections and/or induced nowadays - myself included)
• When the uterus ruptures during pregnancy or labor, 1 in 18 babies die and 1 in 23 mothers require a hysterectomy
• Those at risk for uterine rupture include women who have previous c-sections or other uterine surgeries, having more than 5 full-term pregnancies, having multiples, abnormal positioning of the baby, and the use of pitocin or other labor-inducing drugs

Pretty scary stuff, huh? Especially when I had never even heard of it until it happened to me, paired with the fact that I wasn't considered "at risk".

Anyway, my case is even more unusual because postpartum uterine rupture is very rare - which, I believe, is why mine went undetected. The day that I "got sick" I started experiencing heavy bleeding. Ironically, I was supposed to go in for a Dr visit that very day, but I called to tell them about the bleeding and was told to come back the next week because I had started my period. About an hour later I called them back to tell them that I thought it was much more serious than a period. They told me that if it was still that bad the next morning, to come in to the office. If I had taken that advice I'd be dead.

My dear husband works the evening shift and he had to go to work. I thought I'd be ok (I'm tough, right?) but I passed out not long after he left (he works an hour away). I called him and asked him to please come home. On his way home, he tried to call me back to check on me, but I had passed out again and didn't answer. This worried him so he sent my sister to check on me. What my sister found when she got there must have looked like a scene out of a horror movie. When the paramedics got there, they said I was in shock and they couldn't register a blood pressure. They immediately loaded me up and stuck iv's in every place imaginable.

When we arrived at the ER, the on-call Dr didn't know what was wrong with me. He called for backup and ordered a D&C. During the D&C, they discovered that my uterus had indeed ruptured and that I had severe blood poisioning. The "backup" doctor (who is an ANGEL, I must say) performed a partial hysterectomy to save my life. I woke up in ICU (the next day? I really don't know) and nurses were saying that it was a miracle that I was alive. After a couple of days, I was stable enough to be moved to the hospital we use.

Thanks to my family, the paramedics, the ER staff, Dr. Sanders, blood donors, and all the people who were praying for my recovery, I was able to go home a week later to be with my baby.

So now, 4 years later, I want another child. There are a couple of options - surrogacy (I do still have one functioning ovary) and, of course, adoption. Either way, I know God is in control.

Ironically, this week is also National Infertility Awareness Week. Did you know that 10% of married couples struggle with infertility? Please keep those people in your prayers.

Why you should buy from me

I know I've already sort of covered the answer to that question here, but I thought I'd elaborate a bit. If you've read my blog, you probably already know that I'm doing this as a fundraiser, really. You see, I really, really, really want to have another baby. Unfortunately, that requires a uterus, which I no longer have (sorry for the tmi). Anyway, there are other ways to have children but they're crazy expensive. And so Mama Mockingbird was born.

Now I do have to admit that I'm not the world's best seamstress (those of you who purchased my earlier stuff can attest to that, lol), but all of my items are made with love. And of course, being a crafter myself, I know that some of you are thinking "well I could make that myself," or maybe "so and so could make that for me," or whatever. Chances are, you're probably right. But when you buy from me, you'll know that you are genuinely making a difference in my family's lives. And when the day comes that I'm posting photos of our new addition, you'll know that you had a part in it.

Furthermore, I've seen a ton of folks who make similar items, mostly at higher prices. The good thing about buying from me is that I'm able to offer items at a lower price because I am bargain shopper! I rarely ever pay full price for my supplies and that means I can pass my savings on to you. This is why those of you who are fully capable of making something yourself should just go ahead any buy from me (wink, wink). Sure, you could make it. But by the time you go shopping (if you live in my town you have to drive an hour to find a craft store), purchase supplies (and rarely can you get supplies to make only one of something), and then take the time to actually make whatever it is, wouldn't you have rather just let me do for you? I thought so. ;)